The Coffin of Romance

(A message to myself … )

It may not seem fair but
What you want to do is be reasonable
And allow yourself lots of breathing room
And if you love a person, be sure to say so
But keep your hands to yourself at times,
Even if, at times, this feels like dying.

Keep your hands in your pockets
And do not reach for your wallet
As that can create debt & imbalances
In the power—which are death to romance
(Debt kills romance.)

Some romances are free of debt or guilt;
Some romances were never meant to be—such
As the romance that broke my arm,
When I tripped & fell over it.

Keep romance in its place: it is the messenger,
The not-so-faithful servant of love & will also
Be present when love is flimsy
Or you are in some way anemic or feeble
And do not tend the flame that is the key
To the door to love’s survival.

Love survives among those who see each other
Clearly as they in fact are, setting aside Fantastical illusions & disappointments, with no Detectable bitterness.

However painful it may be, even while kissing,
Letting go all fears, carefully study
Who you are with, who (exactly) you might be
And what (exactly) you seem to need,
Eyes open (& this can take decades,
if you have them,
And also takes patience because you cannot lie
To yourself or love if you would minimize
Chronic confusion &/or killing.

If you wish not to murder, if you wish yourself
And your love alive in love, then space & time should be applied
Like clean, white bandages around a war wound.

Fill the tub: all past agonies must be scrubbed
In the salt water of your tears & regrets,
if need be.
Never forget that too much moaning kills romance.
(Romance kills moaning, temporarily.)

And there can be no nastiness or chronic sniping
Or screaming between you & your love:
they are many times quiet,
The ones who prosper between the sweet wings
Of the love bird & keep its ghost alive, even
If it should sicken or die, or seem to die
Awhile, between reincarnations.

Ghosts & echoes,
A single broken gold bar from the
Abandoned cage of a lost love
Can be enough, can sustain you,
If romance was true,
And truly lived.

If love survives,
Beyond the neon dance
Of the green romance,
It will be because you
Faced down your fears and were not
A worm but were steely,
Even ruthless, yet ever so
Trustingly, nakedly,
Spoke to that love
And held on.